Saturday in San Manuel, and the madcap social whirl is getting into high gear.
The Foreign Legion hall is hosting a Parking Lot tool sale. E mail me your tool request and I’ll pick it up for you.


Vera called. The one time I pick up the phone without seeing who it is, and it’s HER. D*mn…
After 16 years, she calls me up to do her and her new boyfriend a favor. She’s happy, because he’s out on parole now, and they want to get married. I swear it’s true.


I met Vera when I was young and stupid, an Assistant Pastor in a little country church in Louisiana. This town wasn’t even on the parish maps, population 50, or something like that.
She took one look at me, and saw her ticket out of town. I think she liked me, too, but mostly because I could get her out of town. I just liked the attention, a lot. All I had to do was close my eyes and picture somebody else, and I was in Heaven. We got married in less than six months, and moved back here, far away from her family. I didn’t know just how bad they were until later.
One side of her was breathtakingly sweet, like an Angel. I really loved her. I privately thought If I loved her enough, it would make up for having to psyche myself to make love to her.
However, she morphed into something like Travis, in Taxi Driver, over on the dark side. Since Vera, I’ve had some wildly exciting weekends with Travis types, but a psychotic woman with an automatic weapon is just unappealing to me. When it’s a guy, I want to meet him. When it’s a woman, I turn and walk away.
At first I felt guilty that I had to think of men to make love to her, but after a while I just accepted it. The sex was earthshaking, too. She would squeal and scream like a banshee, while I moaned and roared like a wounded lion. We would go into this whole body clench thing, screaming and moaning, waking the neighbors in the next apartments. The next day, they would give each other Significant Looks as we walked by. It was great.


Vera desperately wanted a baby. I think she believed it would redeem her past. But, cruelly, she had an early miscarriage. I came home from work to find her on the edge of the bed crying. I just held her for a long, long time. After that though, things went downhill pretty rapidly. She got into crack, and decided she liked it. There was this fellow in the neighborhood, who liked to help out girls with their need. It seems he had this “service”.
Before too long, Vera was turning tricks for crack. Once, I had to go get her when it turned into an ugly scene. This kind of stuff went on for a little while, before she blew out of town with her dealer/pimp.
After that, for me it was pretty much over. I didn’t really hate her, because I knew how hard she had tried, before she gave up. She came from a family of incest. Daddy had played with all of his little girls, and there were 6 girls, and 3 boys. I think she basically thought she was guilty for not hating her daddy, and that God had taken her baby away. I hate superstition.
Also, I kind of blamed myself for not wanting her physically. It was a long time before I found out just how common that is with guys.
But I for sure didn’t want her back. I felt like I did everything I could to hold it together, and I was done with it.
A friend of mine had some friends in the DEA, and they fixed it so I could get an annulment. Vera just disappeared, which is easy to do in rural Louisiana.
Fifteen years later, and she calls up, wanting me to go down to the courthouse in Tucson, and pick up a copy of the annulment decree, so she can get married to her new demon lover.
I wonder what he thinks about when they’re together? Maybe I should pull him off to the side and ask him. What a way to get revenge.
Nah… I don’t want to stir that kettle again.
It never ends.

Be loved,



3 Responses to “DAYS OF HEAVEN AND HELL”

  1. tornwordo Says:

    That’s quite a story! I think the scariest part is the “rural Louisiana” lol.

    Thanks for this intimate glimpse into your life.

  2. Kalvin Says:

    Yeow, that’s pretty intense. Hopefully you’ll be able to do what you feel is best. I can’t imagine how difficult this all must have been, let alone still having to deal with it.

  3. Nathan Says:

    Wow, that’s quite a marriage. It is sad, and many levels. It’s sad that she had such an unfortunate childhood, because I know being abused can really cause a person to take the wrong path in life. It’s also sad that you ended up in a marriage that ended so sadly. I know how it is to love a woman, and believe that love will make everything else fall into place. And I am so sorry about the miscarriage.

    Well, I’m glad you are on to a happier life now. You took the high road by helping her get those papers. If I were in that position, I admit I would be tempted to say something sarcastic too. But it’s good that you did your part to help out.

    Thanks for sharing this. Sorry I missed it the first time.

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