MY, WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE!













AND THE WINNERS ARE

Here are the answers to yesterdays quiz.

1. Boxing. After much deliberation, the judges( three homeless guys I hang out with) have decided to accept Curling(from Tornwordo) and Wrestling also, since they didn’t think of them beforehand.
2.Niagara Falls. Two and a half feet a year.
3. Asparagus and rhubarb. Nothing funny to say about this one. Asparagus isn’t funny and rhubarb is funnier than anything I could say about it.
4. Strawberry. Tornwordo came close with Kiwi, a relative, but Kalvin got this one.
5. The Pear was grown inside the bottle, and the brandy was placed in there later. Just like the ship in the bottle, silly. Kalvin also got this one. You’re a clever lad, Kalvin.
6. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle. These were harder. I don’t know why, but dwindle sounds funny. Like some weird Anglo-Saxon name. “Dwindle, you must out and strike the Wirdbeest what eaten Grundle” Very Beowulfian.
The way I listed them, it makes a sentence. Neat, huh? (He said eagerly, hoping for a kindly pat on the head.)
7. I knew all you writers would get this one right. I won’t list them, but you can check in your Funk and Wagnall’s if you like.
8. Lettuce. Have you ever seen canned lettuce in the store? But fiddleheads was a cool guess, so you(Kalvin) get points for sounding cool.
9. shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts, and, of course, shit(this from someone who had just stepped in some). There may be more, but everybody did pretty well on this one.

My thanks to all who played and contributed in any way.
Since we had such a good response, Cheddar has decided to throw a party for all the boys. Even the ones who were too shy to compete. It’s next Friday night at the Foreign Legion Hall, just down the block, in the special soundproof party room. Bring your latex products and a jar of IcyHot, you’ll need them both. Whipped cream and toppings optional. Cheddar the Feline Dominatrix always provides the food portion of the entertainment.

Okay, I realize cat jokes are strictly a niche market. I’ll lay off now. But it was fun.

DOWN MEMORY LANE

I followed a link in Castors Diary to the Kaiserbruendl, in Vienna. To me, Vienna has always synbolized ultimate opulence, with a decadent edge. I gotta wonder what a membership at a bath house like that costs. And I used to gripe about the fees for the downtown YMCA.
It did, however, bring a memory back to mind.
When I was about six years old, my older brother and I used to go down to the Municipal Swimming Pool and just spend the afternoon there. It used to be packed all the time in the summer. It was there, in the public dressing room, that I had my first experience of male sexuality. The room was full of men and boys, some shy, some exhibitionistic, in varied stages of undress. I was looking around the room for an open spot on one of the benches when my eyes came across a young man sitting on a bench, wearing nothing but a jock strap. He was just on the edge of puberty, a mysterious, forbidden and exotic world, full of secrets and allure.
He was just a normally okay looking guy, but I was instantly thunderstruck. All I remember is standing there for what seemed an eternity, with my jaw dropped. I think it actually was a couple of minutes. Finally my brother walked over to me, and whispered nervously in my ear, “Quit staring.” I think he knew the score about me even back then. It was many years before I knew about him.
Even after my brother spoke, I lingered, intoxicated. It was as though something larger than I had taken hold of me, and I couldn’t shake loose from it.
The fellow I was staring at studiously ignored me. I doubt he realized the total power he had over me at that moment. He probably just saw some little kid acting weird. For me however, that was a life changing moment.
To this day, it remains one of my most powerful memories, etched on my mind indelibly.
As I look back, trying to understand, I think probably I had just developed neurally to the point that I was able to respond to the “man” smell of testosterone, and I just happened to be downwind.

Lucky me. I’m a Testosterone junkie.

Be loved,

DEL

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4 Responses to “MY, WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE!”

  1. Kalvin Says:

    I protest! What kind of lettuce is this? Even Escarole appears in soups (some sort of Italian soup that I actually have in my cupboard which I bought because I was intrigued but have not yet tried). Fiddleheads is honestly the only thing I have never seen in any packaged form (heck I’ve only seen them in a store twice even fresh). I guess I was being a little over the top. I was thinking Kale, but then I thought, oh, that must certainly be in soups. I admit that I failed as to the vegetables. Sigh. Are they really the only ones?

    I love your story about the swimming pool. I was always so nervous in locker rooms as a kid because I knew that I wanted to stare all around. The most embarrassing was when you were naked in the shower with a hard on you couldn’t supress.

    I can’t wait for the party. I bet pussy is real fun.

  2. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert Says:

    Kalvin,
    Hmmmm, your protest has merit, as Escarole is related to Lettuce, and is commonly used for making Chicory. Your prize: you may bring a friend to the party!
    always remember to have fun,
    Daniel

  3. Kalvin Says:

    You’re so sweet. Are you a bear? The panda makes me think so. Once again, you have a great writing style. When are you coming to SF? Rrreeawwr.

  4. tornwordo Says:

    Wait what was number seven again?

    That was a great memory. I remember something similar:P

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