Just a note: It took the U.S. 1,347 days to defeat Japan in WWII. We have been fighting in Iraq for 1,776 days, and are no closer to winning than we were one hundred days into this war.
In a related situation, Israel has been savagely bombing Southern Lebanon for three weeks, and has been unable to effectively “cleanse” a three mile corridor along the southern border of that ruined country. People have criticized Hezbollah for “hiding” among the Lebanese civilians.

I watched that old movie, Red Dawn. Remember that? Made back in the early eighties, it celebrated American resistance to Soviet occupiers. I noticed in that movie that the American guerilla fighters were hiding among civilians, just like Hezbollah. The main difference was that no one called the Americans terrorists, but heroic freedom fighters. I guess one’s language depends on which side of the border one stands.
Joel told me to calm down, so I won’t start ranting. I love it when he gets firm with me.
Yesterday I wrote a little about some of my time with the street guys in Houston.
During the time I lived there, some of the fellows did befriend me. I was so honored by their friendship.
There was a very complex and highly defined social code among my new friends. It was very important to use precise language, if you wanted to get along successfully with them. For instance, I would go over to the flophouse, usually on a Monday. For most of the guys, Monday was a slow point of the week. Most of the boys were hard workers, but even they needed a break now and then. They were always up for a little fun, though. I would bring a bottle of decent liquor with me under my jacket to hide it from the others, and present it as a gift to Eric or Brad, my buds whom I had met through Scott. They always received it gladly, because it was their nature to share any good thing they had with their friends. They invariably responded by asking if I wanted to “party” a little, or maybe just “fool around some”.
Because I was a friend, I could never use the word “date”. That was a word reserved for work. When on a date, they did a lot of things just for money, so they never wanted to “date” a friend. To be specific, dating often meant anal sex, which most of them didn’t really enjoy, and which I was never into either. If I had ever asked one of them for a date, I would have seriously damaged the relationship. I would have put myself in the camp of paying customers, turning a friendship situation into work, just by my choice of words. I’m glad I never made that mistake.

The language for sex with friends was “fooling around” or “partying”. Fooling around with a buddy was usually a lot more relaxed and less performance oriented than dating. After all, sex was their job. When they got home, they didn’t want to have to work at it. After the prolonged stress of sex with strangers, they mostly just wanted to enjoy some affectionate contact with their friends.
And yes, I knew they were underage. That was the least of their concerns.

Nowadays when I hear guys talking about dating I have to mentally change channels. Back then it was a euphemism for what was usually an unpleasant experience. There was some humor in it too, though. It made a bleak encounter a little less bleak, a little more human.
I loved those guys courage and generosity of heart.
Just Fooling Around

Be loved,




  1. Kalvin Says:

    I’m always amazed when guys say they don’t like anal sex. But then again, I’m not so sure I would love vaginal sex. Hmm…but I’m sure you were as good as you could be for the boys.

  2. Lemuel Says:

    Sometime there’s just nothing better than “just fooling around”. 🙂 loved the pic!

  3. john Says:

    It’s horrible what many of them had to endure.

  4. The_Gay_Dude Says:

    I remember Red Dawn….propaganda at its’ best….and I agree that sometimes fooling around is the best thing!

  5. El Güero Says:

    It’s hard not to get worked up about the state of the world today.

  6. Joel Says:

    I only told you to cut back on the pics.

    We need to rant.

  7. BarbaraFromCalifornia Says:

    I too remember Red Dawn…

    In my time people would say making out, or did you do it? Today, I think that would be considered vague.

  8. ur-spo Says:

    I liked your comments about words; I have to be mindful to use careful words both at work and in my personal life.

  9. tornwordo Says:

    There’s value in all of us. It’s neat they you were let into a kind of secret world like that.

  10. Scott Says:

    I love the pics… they add texture to the story. 🙂

  11. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert Says:

    Kalvin-I know I must try your patience sometimes. But I think it’s true that you are the gayest guy in San Francisco.
    Lem-I’m into laid back love nowadays.
    Marc-Not too long ago I realized that all propaganda is nothing else but marketing a belief. And we do that all the time here in America.
    El Guero-I have to work at calmness sometimes.
    Joel-It’s all right, I’m not accusing you.
    Barbara- I remember people asking that. It sounds so funny now, doesn’t it?
    ur-spo-I’m fascinated by the tension in communication between the sign(word) and the signified(meaning).
    Torn-It was really neat. It was a very bittersweet time, and I learned a lot.
    Scott-I spend a lot of time sometimes finding the right graphic, because it can set the tone for a tale.

  12. Mikey Says:

    Hey there…I am a former Hustler from Toronto and the same terminology that was used there was used on the streets of Toronto. I believe it is pretty universal. The word “dating” still sends shivers up my spine, but I also still like fooling around. (we use to say fuck around with a bud) The culture of the street is not as glorified as it is in the movies, books and imaginations…it is hard work physically and mentally (as you had mentioned)not to mention extremely scary some times. There is no normal on the streets.

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