|You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat|
You’re a dog at heart – and it’s not a bad thing at all!
You love unconditionally, and you’re extremely loyal.
And while you may act silly at times, you’re really quite smart – and a good learner!
This describes me to a “T”. I found this on Derreck’s blog and thought it was so cool I wanted to put it up here. But I was a little concerned by the fact that being of dog nature, I love cats. If I’m a dog, I should love only dogs. Cross species love is considered unnatural, isn’t it? I remember being told that the denizens of the animal kingdom don’t smoke, drink, take drugs, or exhibit homosexual behavior. Turns out they were wrong on all counts, except maybe smoking, and I think I saw a chimp doing that once.
************************************************************* THE STORY OF DENNIS
I had come home for the weekend from school, it may have been the semester break, I don’t really remember. What I do remember is meeting my Grandmother’s new Cocker Spaniel, Dennis. He was charming and playful, and I spent most of the afternoon with him out in the yard. He loved to play and I enjoyed his cheerful good nature. My young cousin Milynda called him a Cocky Spaniard, which I thought charming, at least until I got to know Dennis a little better.
As I recall the day and the evening was uneventful, and I went to bed fairly early, around 10:00 that evening. My bedroom had a doorless closet which opened into another bedroom, perfect for midnight trysts if there had been someone fun on the other bedroom. This should have been a positive feature, but that night it made possible my own little horror story. This closet was piled high with junk. I had been lying in bed naked for a while when I heard an energetic scruffling noise coming from the closet. I listened as the scruffling grew louder as it came closer to me. At this point I had no idea what it could be. After a moment, Dennis bounded out of the closet and up into the bed with me, very excited. I don’t sharing my bed with a dog; I sleep with pets all the time, but this was not what Dennis had in mind at all. Dennis started giving me an energetic tongue bath. It wasn’t just generalized licking however, it was purposeful and focused. He was a little careless with his teeth, though. But so far, not too perverted. This is within the general boundaries of canine behavior. But then things changed, and got totally out of bounds very quickly. Dennis began humping as he licked, and I’m not talking just normal humping. Dennis starting licking and humping like a Cocky Spaniard who had just loaded up on Ecstasy. At any moment Dennis was going to pass the point of no return, and this was not an eventuality that I could endure. I pulled Dennis off me, picking him up and firmly putting him outside the bedroom door in the hallway. I tried not to be too rough about it, because I’ve been rejected before, and the little fellow couldn’t help it if he was irresistibly drawn to me. I didn’t want to wound his canine self esteem. In a bizarre way, I was kind of flattered. I piled the junk back on the closet floor higher than it had been before, thinking that Dennis would get the idea and call it a night. No sooner had I lay down than I heard the same scruffling noise from the closet.
We wound up repeating the scenario three times, and the last time I almost couldn’t get him off me. The little guy was frantically horny, and wanted me bad. I guess there wasn’t too much action in the neighborhood. I wasn’t going for it though. I finally had to position the dresser in front of the closet, and even then I endured Dennis’ whining as he pined away for desire. Finally after what seemed an eternity, he gave up and went off somewhere to write his memoirs alone.
I had been molested by a Cocker Spaniel. I wish I could tell how cheap and used I felt, but really I just thought it was funny.
This is how I know for a fact that we are not alone. Dogs do it too.
The next time I came home for the weekend Dennis had disappeared. Although I didn’t ask, I thought that maybe Grandma had gotten an inkling of Dennis inclinations and gotten rid of him. I just hope he found a home with a nice little boy dog that could keep him company.
Looking For Love