This is Rex, the gay Amish dog, a celebrity on the county fair circuit. He plays the spoons and cymbals while telling fortunes.

My friend Justin who is living in hiding in Mifflinburg, PA, in the Witness Protection Program, sent me a news flash that a police officer in Amish country was fired for gay bashing. So I started looking up Gay Amish. It made sense at the time.
I love Amish fashion, at least for guys. The funny square beards with the corncob pipe is an awesome look.
Question: Can a black person be Amish?
Answer: Some things just aren’t meant to be.

Question: Are there Amish clowns?
Answer: Never, under any circumstances, can any Amish person be a clown. **************************************************************

Little known fact about Sherman Helmsley: Once in the course of a debauched weekend spree, he eloped to Las Vegas, waking up married to a gay Amish farmer, Klem “The Hammer” Hammerschmidt.

An encounter on a country road. I think he’s asking directions to the neighborhood bar.

I must know his name. If you can tell me who he is, I’ll suck up to you in tomorrow’s post.

Amish volleyball. Oh yeah.

They just look so wholesome, they take my breath away.

I am an 84 year old retired gay Amish farmer living in the Pine Needle Retirement Home in Lancaster, PA. Go to my weblog to get the low down on my complex life. I enjoy performing as “The Silver Man,” and posing in tableau for photographs which I set up with my tripod, or which I direct other friends and/or family members to take.

I have no idea what he’s talking about, but he seems really cool.
Here’s a link to his blog. There is some spectacular photography on his site.

Be loved,


P.S. Don’t tell anyone about Justin, it’s a secret.



  1. Kalvin Says:

    The picture is of Homer, which I think would be easy to tell because if you click on it, the title of the picture is homertheamishgay. I’ve not seen this pic of him before, and he’s a cute guy, you should really listen to him sometime when he’s on archer’s show. Beyond that, I think there is a certain sex appeal to the whole Amish thing. We had a friend here who went as an Amish man for halloween here in the castro. He got an authentic outfit from someone in Amish country, and apparently it was too convincing because quite a few people thought he was seriously Amish. I think he should have added fishnets or something.

  2. Lemuel Says:

    First, if you are serious, I think the picture of the mystery man is Homer of Homer’s World (

    Interesting that you mentioned your friend in Mifflinburg. I am quite familiar with that area. It is about 2-3 hours’ drive from where I live now, but I spent much of the first 40+ years of my life in and around that area.

    I am guessing that you were being facetious about being black and being Amish, but in fact, yes, there are black Amish.

  3. Rey a.k.a. "Mr. Secret" Says:

    Is it just me who finds it odd that there are pics of the Amish? I’ve been to Amish Country a few times (they actually made my computer cabinet… it’s absolutely stunning), and the won’t allow pics taken of themselves head-on. I actually saw this confirmed on Oprah when they had Amish people on the show who were affected by the horrible shootings of the 12 girls a few months back. You can take a pic of them, but not face on…

    No wonder they don’t drive cars… They could never get a driver’s license with a profile shot.

  4. Anonymous Says:

    It’s pretty common that teenaged Amish boys get cars. Consequently, they need drivers’ licenses. Pennsylvania issues them licenses with a silhouette instead of a photo.

    Neither Homer, nor the guy standing next to Sherman Helmsley are Amish, because Amish men don’t wear moustaches. It’s fairly uncommon for Amish women, too.

    There is no “Pine Needle Retirement Home” in Lancaster PA. There is, however, a “Howell Tire & Complete Radiator” in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Perhaps you confused the two of them.

    And, of course, you’ve completely overlooked

  5. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert Says:

    My first impulse was to use your comment as an illustration of the tacit assertion that the Amish do not have a sense of humor, either individually or in the collective sense, but then I noticed a very quiet, dry wit just under the surface of yor remarks. I too, have never noticed a full moustache adorning an Amish lady’s upper lip. Kudos to you for bringing this truth to our attention.
    As to the nursing home, I would suggest that you follow the link offered in the body of the post. It will lead you to the web site of a man who asserts that there is indeed a nursing home in that location. If that is not the case, then either the gentleman making that assertion is mistaken or he is lying. I cannot say which is the correct asseveration, as I am not prepared to do an “on the ground” fact check. I can say that he has a modest web presence, and that there are no contraindications in any of his online data.
    But he seems to be an alert mind, and quite a good photographer. I invite you to take a look at his site.

  6. Foxy Stone Says:

    i admire the amish for refusing to cave into american peer pressure.

    i admire the amish for practicing what they preach.

    to that end… did you know that the amish shop at WalMart?

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