MY NASCENT CAREER AS A FILM CRITIC

My first thought was, “Oh my God, I’m just like Joe My God”. In my inbox was an email from some studio henchman, requesting that I review some drivel that’s due to be aired soon, on a channel which shall remain nameless. Of course, after the first few moments, I realized that almost certainly many thousands of other bloggers must have received the same letter, word for word. I’d almost wager that everyone on the Technorati top fifty thousand list got the same letter.
In the email the writer stated that he believed I was a “reputable influencer of public opinion”, and invited me to a “private” online screening. So I e mailed back and said I wanted fresh flowers every day, a case of champagne, hot and cold running hustlers, and a seat on the plane next to Anderson Cooper. I haven’t heard back from them yet. They’re probably coordinating it with Anderson Cooper. I’m even willing to share hustlers with Anderson. The champagne too, for that matter.
Oh, and don’t watch any drivel about terrorist sleeper cells in America. It’s third rate fim making, attempting to ratchet up viewership by instilling fear into suggestible minds, of which, unfortunately, America seems to be full lately.
************************************************************
Men, Unafraid…

I’m going pond skating. Why do you ask?

Wanna see my birthmark?

Another of my beloved suedeheads.

Watchman, tell us of the night…

Was there no room at the inn, that these two travelers had to sleep in the manger?

Be loved,

DEL

By the way, in Wednesday’s post I knew they weren’t really Amish, all but the last one. Evidently it doesn’t pay to mess with the Amish. The old guy with the web site, however, is real. He has some really interesting photography.

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6 Responses to “MY NASCENT CAREER AS A FILM CRITIC”

  1. Sober @ Sundown Says:

    Guess I’m not on the Technorati top fifty thousand list……..

  2. Shaney Says:

    LOL@ this post…Fresh flowers & champagne…What a crack up!!
    You make me laugh!! Thankyou xox

  3. Enemy of the Republic Says:

    Ditto. I didn’t get the letter. Be proud.

  4. Em Says:

    Wow, the seamy underside of consumer manipulation.

    I didn’t comment on the amish post because I felt deeply confused by it. I went to that old guys site and it only confused me more. And now you are telling me they weren’t actually amish. If you need me you’ll find me wandering aimlessly through Walmart with two different colored socks on…

  5. Daniel, the Guy in the Desert Says:

    Em, I know just how you feel. I’ve become one of those “40 going on 70” women who shuffle down to the supermarket wearing their grey flannel nightgown and fluffy bunnyrabbit slippers. Keeping up with reality has worn me down.

  6. Kalvin Says:

    Aw, I would feel manipulated too. Did you get a response to your demands?

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