Elizabeth of Screw Bronze tagged me for this.
I like knowing that I have at least three or four female readers who are able to set aside the “Ewww!” factor and check in on me from time to time. I’m learning to like females, just not sexually.
For most of my life, a sure fire way to make me uncomfortable was to say something along the lines of “Tell me about yourself”. I discovered pretty quickly that if I spoke truthfully of myself and my life I would be corrected and told that I should say this or that ritualized response. “Oh, don’t say that!”, or “You should say you’re great!”. My response was(and still is) usually along the lines of “Where the Sun don’t shine!”. I might say it a little more politely, but as they say, it’s the thought that counts.
It took me a long time to learn that in most social situations people don’t want to know, they want to be amused.
I loved the link in yesterday’s post precisely because of all the screw ups, this funny looking guy sitting on my sofa in his skid marked underwear, who can’t really sing on his best day.
Life’s like that.
I remember when as a child asking to go to the neighbors house, my grandmother would invariably ask if my underwear was clean. Even then I knew she was fighting a losing battle.
Life has skid marks. There’s really no getting away from it.
I know I haven’t figured life out yet. Anybody who says they have is selling something. We’re all just making it up as we go along.
Here we go:
1. Telephones scare me. I’ve been known to let my mother’s call go to the answering machine. I have only one friend I’ll pick up for every time. I prefer instant messaging to the telephone. I prefer face to face over the telephone as well. A year and a half ago I spent ten very frustrating weeks with a therapist. Eight weeks we met in his space, then we switched to phone sessions. It only took two weeks to grind to a miserable halt.
It causes real problems, though, when it comes to phone sex.
I think part of the problem is that I rely heavily on visual cues; facial expressions and body language are really important to me. I can get quite frustrated if I feel that I’m not being understood. I’m much more confident of being understood in written form than I am of being verbally understood. However, put me up in front of a crowd, and I’m set free. I love public speaking. I just regard it as performance art, and have fun with it. I can detect and direct the emotional flow of a crowd much better than with an individual.
2. I tend to wear the same outfit every day, for months on end. I always have two or three identical pairs of pants, usually Dockers. That way I can always be fresh, but still look the same. I allow for a little more variety with shirts, but not much. I’ll have three or four different shirts that I alternate between. I have several pair of shoes, but I invariably choose my “dressy” black hightops. I have twelve pair of identical socks. My everyday choice of drawers is fruit of the loom, but for special occasions I’ll introduce variety down there. I think I just enjoy not having to choose what I wear.
3. I learned to read freakishly early. I was reading on my own when I was three. My first book that was “my very own” was Mickey Mouse Builds a House. When I was six I was reading Russian novels(in translation) out loud to my grandfather. Most of my vocabulary came from reading. This caused some problems, because I would figure words out from reading them, but until I heard someone say the word, I would just guess at it. I thought “idiot” was pronounced “I diet” for years. I learned the word as it appeared on the page before I learned how it sounded.
4. I’m almost entirely internally compliant. I’m not particularly rebellious, but I’m only swayed by my own values. Some well meaning but very misguided people have from time to time tried to force me to conform to their notions. Those efforts have never met with success, as I will go to any lengths to resist the attempt. I’m simply not capable of allowing someone to think or feel for me. I’m just not very suggestible.
5. My favorite place to be in the whole world is on top of a mountain in the middle of an electrical storm. I was camping on a mountain, not paying attention to weather reports, and a friend and I got caught by a storm. I had never seen ball lightning before, but it’s awesome.
6. I taught myself how to write backward cursively, so that it looks correct when you hold the writing up to a mirror, after I learned that Leonardo Da Vinci wrote like that in his personal diaries.
Fun on the lighter side…